Sequel to A SECOND BEGINNING
“She went to be an intern for her uncle
Just a little hustle before she go to law school
But Uncle Peter Agbaya, alai’nitiju
One late night he came back into the sitting room
Uncle, please stop
Shhh…be silent
Uncle didn’t stop till he broke the hymen.
I don become a child of the world.” – Falz (Child of the World)
“I was 19 when it happened” she started, with tears in her eyes. “It was after our 100 Level second semester exams when I went to visit my cousin, Ope, who was in his final year at Unilag. He introduced me to his friend, Dave, who was a really nice guy. We exchanged contact and became friends during the weeks that followed.” Tayo kept staring into open space. She continued.
“The week before we were to resume 200 Level, he asked me out on a date. He took me to Tantalizers and we had a good time. After the date, he told me that he forgot a parting gift that he wanted to give me before I returned to school, so we went to his house together. Usually, at least one of his flatmates would be around, but that day it was different. Also, as we entered, he turned on the surround system and started playing music. He said he wanted to keep me entertained. Looking back, I should have realized that something but wrong, but I didn’t. I just felt those things were coincidences” Tayo looked on like he had seen a ghost.
“Long story short…He raped me. I still remember the demented look in his eyes as he forcefully took what I had kept for close to two decades. Those twenty minutes were the death of me. I screamed but no one came to my rescue, not even God. At a point, I lost the will to shout. It was useless. I was useless. After the beast was satisfied, he got off the bed. The barbaric act was over, but my heart was wounded.”
She glanced at her husband who had tears streaming down his eyes. She wanted to stop but she had to continue. “I cried till I literally could not cry again. The fool said it was the devil that pushed him. He said he really loved me and he didn’t know what came over him. The worst part came when the idiot said that he had bought a condom earlier that day, and he used it because he didn’t want to get me pregnant. I swear if I had a knife, I would have stabbed him. But I didn’t, so I couldn’t. Tayo, I was dejected and demoralized. I didn’t know what to do” She placed her hand on Tayo’s back. He shrugged it off. “Ife mi, that was the craziest period of my life. I was so depressed and suicidal. My mind was made up never to get married or even have a relationship because I could not trust men again.”
“You came around and despite my silly behavior, you stuck with me. I tried everything to get you away from me, but you stuck with me. You stood by me. Adetayo Oluwagbotemi Fadipe…you showed me what love truly means. You…” Tayo cut in. “Stop. Lara, just stop this nonsense. Look at my body, just because I tried to sleep with my wife, I have scratch marks all over.” “Sir, I didn’t mean to. It was just that the memories of that sad night came to me and the flashback made it seem as if it was happening again. I’m sorry, my dear.”
Tayo blew his top. “Lara. You are a murderer! No. You are worse. We courted for two years and you never for once deemed it fit to tell me about this.” “I wanted to, Tayo. God knows I wanted to. Remember our date night at Eko Hotel and Suites? You said I was moody and I told you there was something I wanted to tell you. This was it. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it because of the fear that you would leave me.” She moved closer to him and tried to hold his hand, he pushed her away. “Tayo, I love you so much that I can’t imagine life without you. Please forgive me. Ade ori mi, please”
“Forgive? Iru isokuso wo niyen? What kind of nonsense are you saying? All through our period of courtship, the furthest you allowed me was a hug. Every other thing, mba. You were shouting Sexual Purity all over the place. It was not as if I was an unbeliever o” Lara tried to interject, but a look at his face and she knew better than to talk. “Lara, any small thing, you will be quoting 1 Thessalonians 4:3. It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality. You quoted it so much, it became an anthem. If only I knew that you weren’t living what you preached. Bloody hypocrite!”
At the mention of that word, Lara caught fire. “Whaaat did you just say? Did you just call me a hypocrite!? Hehehe. See me see trouble o. Okay, I agree I was wrong. I should have told you, but I didn’t and I have apologized. Ki gan ni. Ahahn. What is your problem? You now have the guts to call me a hypocrite. Tayo. You. You dare call me a hypocrite. Was I the one whose elder brother helped to write his GCE? Ehn. If you are so perfect, why did you not go to WAEC office and tell them the truth? Who knows whether you even attended university as you claimed or you paid to get the first class.”
That moment, Tayo lost control and did something he swore he would never do. He beat his wife.
….
Oya oo. This is getting interesting.
- Do you think Lara could have done anything to prevent the rape?
- What would you have encouraged her to do if you met her the evening of the incident?
- Was Lara right not to disclose the fact that she was raped?
- Does being a perpetrator or victim of sexual abuse stop a person from being a promoter of sexual purity?
- Tayo lost control and beat his wife. 🙁 … what do you think about domestic violence?
Coming soon… 🙂
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8 comments
she would have told him about her pasts even though it wouldnt have been easy atleast i know she would have avoided the violence
thanks bro ire
She aught to have told him the truth before stepping into the marital journey. One thing people fail to understand in life is that; the truth might not keep you together but all what lies or lack of self-disclosure will do is to only shatter the relationship. Why not say the truth, self-disclose and let your mind be free like a bird in the skye.
…but uncle was never supposed to get violent.
… You’re a victim does not stop you from advocating for it. Experience they say, is the best teacher, and alot might get saved through your story or your advocate on sexual purity.
Hmm…
Wow! This is interesting
I’m certainly looking forward to your new book. More grace to you sir!
Here goes my thoughts
I think Lara could have been more sensitive to her environment rather than being carried away by the goodness of the moment. I feel that she trusted this guy too much. Instead of following him to his apartment on that first date, she could have told him to send the gift to her later.
If I had the privilege of meeting her that evening, I would have told her to go home and collect the gift another day but if she insists, I will offer to go along with her to his apartment since its just a “gift” he wanted to give her which she could collect at the door.
Keeping the rape incident away from her husband was such a big omission. I know it could be hard to tell such things especially to someone who trusts you but it’s better said earlier in the courtship than having the partner discover it later. That way, both parties would have had time to think through it and go through the process of healing which will help them to trust more. Once they gain that victory together, they will be able to move on together and face other challenges that come their way.
Being a repented perpetrator or victim of sexual abuse does not stop an individual from promoting sexual purity as long as they have repented and are healed from the hurt the whole event brings.
Hmm… Domestic violence even though very common is not the best way to express one’s emotion in the heat of the moment. And it should not cross anyone’s mind either male or female because it is an offence that is punishable.
Wow!! Your response is really worth reading. Lessons everywhere.
– Wisdom is profitable to direct. It’s good to be proactive, to think about what could happen and not be too trusting.
Harmless as doves, wise as serpents.
– Complete trust and honesty is key to a relationship. Any relationship.
– My stance on domestic violence is that it’s a no-no. The ability to control one’s emotion is key for both male and female.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. The season finale drops today, by God’s grace.
1. She may have been able to prevent being raped. Maybe she was careless. Maybe she was too trusting. Maybe she was too confident that nothing of such could happen. Sometimes people fall because they are too ‘sure’ that they won’t.
On the other hand, she may not have been able to.
2. Before or after?
Before it happened, I really probably would just have told her to be careful. The best I could do is let her know what I believe is right and respect her opinion. But I might not even have sensed anything wrong. You know how these things happen. Sometimes you really cannot tell what you’ll do in a situation until you find yourself in it.
After it happened, I would have told her to seek medical and spiritual help and open up to her parents or someone she can trust . She definitely needed some tests, more love, counselling sessions etc.
3. She was wrong not to have told Tayo. This is someone that’s supposed to be her best friend. In fact, whatever she cannot tell him should be what she can tell no one except God. He needed to know. If he really loved her, he would stay. The aftermath of not telling a spouse about important details of the past could ruin a marriage that should last forever so why not tell it before you tie the knot? If he wants to go, it’s fine. The one who loves you will stay. Sometimes this ‘not telling’ is like a mechanism to hold the other person down. You know that when you’re in, it’s sealed. That’s not fair. It’s manipulation.
4. Being a perpetrator or victim of sexual abuse doesn’t prevent one from being an advocate of sexual purity as long as the person has sought forgiveness and cleansing from Christ and has repented.
5. Domestic violence is bad. It’s a no no. There are so many other ways to let your anger out when it’s burning. I know some things could be really annoying but there are ways the Holy Spirit could help one deal with anger or rage.
Plus,
We shouldn’t try to justify our wrongdoings by blackmailing others or letting them feel they’re also sinners. When we realised we’re wrong, we should admit, confess, apologise and do whatever is necessary to right our wrongs. It’s not our business to start recalling people’s wrongdoings when we should be dealing with our sins. There’s no righteousness in justifying sin.
Wow. As in, Wow!!
I’ve learnt just by reading these. 📝📝thanks a lot, Toosin.